Don't Hold Back

Life seems long in numbers; yet, it is kinda short in reality. 


I'm saying don't hold back. I am preaching to a choir that I, myself, am singing in. Each and every day I hold back feelings that I wish I could just express. Whether it be disappointment, sadness, happiness, loneliness, love, anger, excitement or even if you got to poop. We have feelings that we constantly hide from one another that are poking at our insides just to be let out. I ask for myself and everyone reading this to dig deep and lay it all out on the table once in a while. Now, obviously there are some things that are better left unsaid. But I am talking about the emotions that are dug so deep down that sometimes you forget you are dealing with them. We tend to project our emotions in the wrong direction when there is some underlying feeling that you try to deal with on your own. Sure, you can figure it out by yourself but I don't understand why we can't reach out when it is so desperately needed. If there are ten things that you keep boiling up inside, take one step and release just one of the ten. Because in the end you'll feel better, ten fold. Life is to ridikerously short and eventually it may to be too late to tell someone how you feel before the real damage is done.


This life shit is too deep sometimes. I've been through some shit with no shoes on. We all have. Even though we can never 100% relate to whatever the issue may be because we have our own unique point of view, there are still those basic emotions that we can relate to.


If all you hear is "blah blah blah I'm a dirty tramp", then that's cool. I am just spittin' with the juices that are flowing. Plus the woman on the floor above me walking back and forth, back and forth in her fucking heels is pushing me to the edge and forcing me to stop typing.


"We accept the reality of the world with which we are presented."


There is more to what we are presented a lot of the time.


HK

If you don't like it; don't read it.

'I'm living just to keep going.'

We all have our ups and our downs. But at the end of the day the best advice I have been given is to live in the moment. I constantly question my actions and whether they are the right ones. But that isn't the right way to go about it. I have also been handed the advice that if I question things to much and worry about certain decisions being "right", then I'll never go for anything. I am searching for something that I can't even describe because I don't know what it is. All I know is that life is as amazing as it is insane and unpredictable. Life is about expecting the unexpected and rolling with whatever it is you do. Do what makes you happy. And if you don't know what makes you happy then just keep your eyes and mind open. Because when you least expect it life gives you the opportunity to strike.

I don't know what I am saying right now but it all stems from so many different emotions that I feel each and everyday I am out here. I see people putting on a show and I see people as real as I've ever seen. I respect so much of those that aren't putting on a front. Out here in LA appearance is everything which is something I've never wanted to conform too and I won't. There is so much beyond what first meets the eye. I am out here to surprise people. For them to see me and not expect anything. Just so when I do snuff them with a surprise attack they are that much more engaged.

Hands down I get sad about all the people I left behind for the time being. Before I left I tried to soak up every second I had left before I left and was aware that I wasn't going to feel the effects till I got here.

And I feel it.

 I am not scared to be here, so far from home. The feelings I feel are simply the footprint all my friends and family left on me. I knew I have always been blessed but I now it hit me like a ton of bricks for some reason. Cot damn do I love the people back EAST!

Responsibility is weird.

All I need is muh family, muh friends, a toilet bowl, the female touch and a Jets Superbowl.

"I'm going to paraphrase Thoreau here... rather than love, than money, than faith, than fame, than fairness... give me truth."

HK

I miss JakeDavid.

In Theaters..

Coming never to a theater near you..

Nuevo

Everything is so fresh right now. From my shoes to my current living situation.

The first week on the left coast is in the books. I continue to learn so much about myself and the people around me. I am constantly going through ups and downs with my emotions but at the end of the day I feel confident. I am truly excited about life right now and this feeling is something I've been craving for a long time. I thought I became a man after dealing with the loss of my father but I still have so much growth to attain and I am inspired by it. The craziest part about this entire experience is not the new-ness but the fact that I am closer to certain people back home now than I ever been now that I am 3,000 miles apart. You never know what you have til its gone and me being further away now has strengthened so many of my relationships. 

I have been handed an unbelievable opportunity here in L.A to pursue what it is that I came out here for. There isn't an adjective that would do justice for how grateful I am. 

A quote that my sister passed to me nailed it on the head. I honestly have felt for many years that I will die at a young age. The knowledge that I have of this possibility has 'drove me to drain the most out of every moment of life and to get on with the next challenge'. 

I see a shit load of homeless people in Los Angeles. Which is understandable because where else would you want to be homeless? Seeing all these people is making me realize that any day alive is a good day. If you aren't already, start appreciating life and count yo' blessings! Someone else has it worse than you.

JAKE DAVID<3

Spontaneous Wanbustion

Spontaneous combustion is a type of combustion which occurs without an external ignition source.

In humans

Main article: Spontaneous Human Combustion

The spontaneous combustion of people (i.e. death from a fire originating within the victim's body without a direct external cause) is a theorised explanation for a number of unexplained cases, some of which are well-documented and many of which are not. The more convincing cases share the following characteristics:

• The body is completely or almost completely incinerated, while nearby furniture that should normally have been damaged under such temperatures remains intact. Damage is limited to the victim's clothing, to the area of the floor or furniture on which they died, and to the ceiling above the corpse.
• The torso is the focus of the fire, and if remains are found these are of the extremities, such as the feet.
• There are no traces of fire accelerant, and the fire does not have an evident external cause.
• The victim is typically alone at the time of death, and is thought to have been alive when the fire started, despite showing little sign of having struggled.

Various theories have been put forward to explain these cases, though none have yet achieved consensus.

Thank you Wikipedia. 

Now that you know what spontaneous human combustion entails I can continue.

Whilst driving through New Mexico me and my companions (my companions and I?) may have witnessed a near-combustion-experience. 

I remember driving on I-40 somewhere around Santa Rosa. Gaslight Anthem was probably playing. The window was slightly cracked and I started to smell something. I didn't recognize what the scent was nor where it was coming from so I continued driving. Less than a minute Ry in the back casually shouts, 'Wan you're on fire!'. I turn to Wan and I look at a relatively large flame around his tri-cep. From his view he can't see the flame. We kinda started to laugh while it happened then my first reaction was to blow it out. Totally made it worse. The flame grew larger as I felt as if I had a cape on. With my free hand I just slapped it out with amazing reflexes which resulted in black soot engraved into my index and thumb. Along with a victim who will never forget this experience.

Neither of us smoke and there was no ignition to spark in the car. This was the highlight of the road trip for me. 

Aftermath footage available.

Believe it, or not.

Good night St. Louis

It took 17 hours through 7 different states but we made it to the destination in which we will be saying goodbye to in several hours: St. Louis, Missouri.

After a night and one full day I must say the city is nice. Extremely quiet, the yellow ones do stop, the Arch is amazing, seeing a baseball game is phenomenal and the people rise above it all. I walked around all day with two people who flamboyantly flashed their Philadelphia loyalty and barely had to deal with any heckling. The heckling that did come our way was immediately followed by a "good game though guys, the better team won". If the shoe were on the other foot then the shoe would be shoved somewhere uncomfortable. When we sought for help we were given it. The people are class acts. (with the exception of 3 people we met: mulligan)

After reading just a couple pages of this new chapter I must say I am excited about not knowing what is next. 

We didn't book a place to sleep until 35 minutes ago and its 3:15 A.M right now. I sure as hell don't know what tomorrow holds because all we are thinking about is living in the meow.

Up next: Oklahoma 

Shit is about to get real

Shit is about to get 100% real, cheese. In approx. 3 hours. Me, Mike and the new member to the group Ryan will be making the move. I probably should be sleeping since about a 17 hour drive to St. Louis awaits, but I digress. We will be seeing a lovely friend of mine and the 2nd best team in baseball the Philadelphia Phillies play the Cardinals on Tuesday as the first stop. 

I said my temporary goodbyes to a lot of good people this weekend and gained some new insight. We are told we have balls for doing this but I don't think that is the correct way to put it. We just have nothing to lose. Besides, the world is ending in 2012. 

Maybe we'll be back soon, maybe not. Either way its a see ya later and not a goodbye. 

In the words of Kuzzick, Diana has put away her bosom. Apollo has lifted his skirt. The day has been launched.