Thursday, November 24, 2011


After going to a Hollywood party filled with free drinks and absurd incomes we walked back to our car that was beside about 8-10 homeless people hugged against the cement. Seeing those two extremes on a daily basis puts things in perspective.

I am thankful for..

Mi familia
My friends
My opportunities
My boys sister for giving me a place to sleep
New Jersey
The whispering eye
Mozzarella sticks
Blue Moon
White T's
Warm water
My struggles
Nice people
Devil's Lettuce
Pearl Jam
Good conversation (it's rare)

This list could be longer than Schindlers so it's just a taste of what I'm grateful for.

What are you grateful for?

Happy Turkey Day


Sunday, November 13, 2011

Don't Hold Back

Life seems long in numbers; yet, it is kinda short in reality. 

I'm saying don't hold back. I am preaching to a choir that I, myself, am singing in. Each and every day I hold back feelings that I wish I could just express. Whether it be disappointment, sadness, happiness, loneliness, love, anger, excitement or even if you got to poop. We have feelings that we constantly hide from one another that are poking at our insides just to be let out. I ask for myself and everyone reading this to dig deep and lay it all out on the table once in a while. Now, obviously there are some things that are better left unsaid. But I am talking about the emotions that are dug so deep down that sometimes you forget you are dealing with them. We tend to project our emotions in the wrong direction when there is some underlying feeling that you try to deal with on your own. Sure, you can figure it out by yourself but I don't understand why we can't reach out when it is so desperately needed. If there are ten things that you keep boiling up inside, take one step and release just one of the ten. Because in the end you'll feel better, ten fold. Life is to ridikerously short and eventually it may to be too late to tell someone how you feel before the real damage is done.

This life shit is too deep sometimes. I've been through some shit with no shoes on. We all have. Even though we can never 100% relate to whatever the issue may be because we have our own unique point of view, there are still those basic emotions that we can relate to.

If all you hear is "blah blah blah I'm a dirty tramp", then that's cool. I am just spittin' with the juices that are flowing. Plus the woman on the floor above me walking back and forth, back and forth in her fucking heels is pushing me to the edge and forcing me to stop typing.

"We accept the reality of the world with which we are presented."

There is more to what we are presented a lot of the time.


Tuesday, November 1, 2011

If you don't like it; don't read it.

'I'm living just to keep going.'

We all have our ups and our downs. But at the end of the day the best advice I have been given is to live in the moment. I constantly question my actions and whether they are the right ones. But that isn't the right way to go about it. I have also been handed the advice that if I question things to much and worry about certain decisions being "right", then I'll never go for anything. I am searching for something that I can't even describe because I don't know what it is. All I know is that life is as amazing as it is insane and unpredictable. Life is about expecting the unexpected and rolling with whatever it is you do. Do what makes you happy. And if you don't know what makes you happy then just keep your eyes and mind open. Because when you least expect it life gives you the opportunity to strike.

I don't know what I am saying right now but it all stems from so many different emotions that I feel each and everyday I am out here. I see people putting on a show and I see people as real as I've ever seen. I respect so much of those that aren't putting on a front. Out here in LA appearance is everything which is something I've never wanted to conform too and I won't. There is so much beyond what first meets the eye. I am out here to surprise people. For them to see me and not expect anything. Just so when I do snuff them with a surprise attack they are that much more engaged.

Hands down I get sad about all the people I left behind for the time being. Before I left I tried to soak up every second I had left before I left and was aware that I wasn't going to feel the effects till I got here.

And I feel it.

 I am not scared to be here, so far from home. The feelings I feel are simply the footprint all my friends and family left on me. I knew I have always been blessed but I now it hit me like a ton of bricks for some reason. Cot damn do I love the people back EAST!

Responsibility is weird.

All I need is muh family, muh friends, a toilet bowl, the female touch and a Jets Superbowl.

"I'm going to paraphrase Thoreau here... rather than love, than money, than faith, than fame, than fairness... give me truth."


I miss JakeDavid.