White Out

I was reminded today that some people have limitations. Some people are capable of things that other people are not. The difference is not the innate ability to create things or talent, but the courage within. I am paraphrasing an article I recently read but when I say courage within I mean the people that are willing to take a chance. And when I say take a chance I don't mean blindly invest yourself in some decision that you have no control over. I mean wisely decide on an opportunity that has an abundance of repercussions yet a contingency of positivity. One of the most common fears is the fear of being rejected. I can't say that I am completely immune to feeling the affects of rejection but I am certainly widening that gap. 

In my opinion, there are those that settle for the stable and 'safe' route and those that don't settle. And the difference between those that settle and don't settle is proportionate to those that are willing take a risk and not take a risk. When you take a risk it is vital to project confidence further increasing the probability of success within your risk. Which reminds me of a quote from Christopher McCandless:  

“It is important in life not to be strong, but to feel strong.' 

So, whatever it is your about to go after, talk yourself into confidence. Even if in the back of your mind you know that you aren't, it doesn't matter. It is a projection. A projection isn't a tangible thing. But if it appears tangible then it is tangible, A.K.A real. Whether it is stepping on a basketball court, sealing a deal or talking to a girl, portray confidence. That to me seems like the first step to success in executing a risk, let alone anything.

We get too comfortable. We get to secure. The weird thing is security is what we all attain. In my sick little mind security is boring. A new horizon, new experience, new challenges are all insecure and yet the most pivotal to our growth. But the thing I realized is neither path is right or wrong, it is just preference. Whatever I think and whatever I write on this blog is simply a preference. Everyone is different and has their own reaction to each stimuli. But, regardless I still feel it is necessary to keep things fresh and take a risk. Keeping things fresh is one of the most important components of a relationship, and I've barely been in a long term relationship! In comparison, keeping things fresh in a relationship is just as important as keeping things fresh in life. If you find something you like to do, continue on with that but do not settle. Continue to progress, continue to long for something that may seem unattainable and take the unbeaten path. Even if it is only once in a while. 

Mix it up, keep it real and don't be scared.

Ramblers

"I hope it is true that a man can die and yet not only live in others but give them life, and not only life, but that great consciousness of life."  - Jack Kerouac

I'm really doing great. I don't have a lot of money, yet. My eyes are open. I am completely aware of life right now. But so very often I have these moments where I just can't take it anymore. Life is just too heavy. But in a beautiful way. Not in an overbearing or stressful way, life is just so fucking heavy. And these moments occur in the most calm of situations. 

Success is subjective. Here in Hollywood success = status. I don't care about that. Sure it would be fantastic to be famous but the only people that I actually care about what they think is my family. Every day I wonder what am I doing out here? It is like I just woke up and I am here. I didn't think about it, I just came. And I am glad I did because even though there are so many fraudulent people, I have met so many amazing people that I know will be involved in my life forever and that's beautiful. This rant I am typing has no clear message but ultimately I just want to slow life down and just remind people how small we really are. Even after you chased down your 'dreams' and theres nothing left to chase, are we not brought back to our loved ones? Life to me is relationships and if I'm not taking care of my relationships, or the people I love than what am I doing. I am doing great, believe it or not, this is not a cry for help or solution. There is a method to all my madness. Just once in a while I feel the need to share what is on my mind because I am random, shameless and just hoping there is someone who can read even just one of these incoherent sentences and feel at comfort because there is someone who feels the same way.

Life is heavy and so are bowling balls. All we can do is keep rolling on. 

JD<3LUKE

HK

8 Mile

Sup?

So often people fear what we have no control over. My thing is why seek control in an uncontrollable environment (life). As humans we seek to gain control on mother nature, people, situations, etc. But the fact is we never have complete control. It is only until we let loose and lose control that we are free. Free from all the worries, the prejudice, the judgement and ridicule. All I say is let lose and live with a more F-it attitude. But don't be stupid.

If your confused, do you not realize how small we are? That there are literally different universes outside of our universe. Endless, infinite amounts of space that just does not give a fuck that you got a 97 on your managerial accounting exam. No I'm not high, I am more sober than a fetus. All we have is this very moment we are in. Be conscious of the future but please don't obsess over it. Live for what it's worth and what it's worth is only valued by you.

Maybe I am just justifying what I am doing. I to have plenty of things to work on.

“So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man's living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.” - Christopher McCandless

Neil Gaiman Commencement Speech

HK

Mr. Andy

I've been in several interesting and unique situations all my life. They tend to find me. I would like to share one particular scenario that occurred last night.

After a couple hours of drinking some premium Keystone Lights with a couple old and new friends we walk our asses to a local bar down the street from my house called The Dark Room. We make our way through the relatively crowded bar to get to the bartender. For those of you that know me I say hello to just about anyone I make eye contact with. So, I see a very drunk, slob of a man with glasses right next to me so I offer my fist for a bro pound.

"Whats up dude?!?"

Approximately 30 seconds into the incoherent conversation it registers that this man is none other than Andy Dick.

"Whats your name man?"
"Andy."
"Oh, right. So what are YOU doing out here?"

The woman he was with nearly immediately says, "I'm going to go, I'll leave you two alone." Something along those lines. At the buzzed moment of time I thought it was slightly strange but shrugged it off because, shit! It's Andy Dick!

In a loud bar it isn't all that unusual for someone to talk in your ear. But when you feel the warm breath trickle your ear drum it's a little too close for comfort. Oh, and he was also cupping the back of my neck and pulling me towards him. Andy Dick is a lot stronger than I thought. Somewhere in between talking about cocaine, his three children, how "awesome" I am and how "everyone in here is jealous of us you fucking idiot!" he attempted and slightly succeeded in molesting me. He was forcefully pulling me towards him until I would physically restrain him from me by grabbing both of his arms and yelling at him whilst slightly laughing. Towards the end of the encounter, before I started to get angry and feel slightly violated, he put his hand up my shirt and was tugging at my shirt. All I could say was..

"Andy! No! Stop it, Andy! I like this shirt, Andy. I like this shirt! Stop it!"

When I realized those standing in a 5 foot radius, including the bar tenders, were just watching the entire thing I decided to say good bye after he wanted me to take his number. Just when I thought this was a time to network, it was a time to simply hold on to the soap.

Fortunately I stepped aside because towards the end I was on the verge of bitch slapping and/or punching Andy Dick in his face. Completely absurd.

I wish straight women were as forward as Andy.

Oh, and the other day in Hollywood a very old man offered me a lollypop.

As you can see, my hand was on his wrist to prevent him from grabbing me. Straight up the most difficult picture of my life. In attempts to make me feel better, my heterosexual roommate on the left told me it was because I'm "sexy". So feel free to make fun of @Wannop10.

*No disrespect to Andy Dick.

And if you haven't watched my short film ICEBERG yet, please do. And please share on your facebook and twitter if you would. 

:)

Happy Father's Day, Kid. Miss and Love you.

Happiest when in the moment

Just live in the now.

Now is all we have, yesterday already passed and tomorrow may never be. I get the impression that people aren't listening to Ferris Bueller enough. I beg that everyone, at least once in a while literally stop and look around because life is going to blow by us all if we don't cherish what we have NOW. The little things are all we need. 

A couple weeks ago at work I met a woman that I am never going to see again. She told me that I am going to go places because "she knows". The woman exclaimed in her little accent, "one time my co-worker lost her job. And I tell her, I tell her you're going to get your job back don't worry, you will. And what do you know, she got her job back that week. I know these things. You are going to go places, don't you worry. I have this feeling, I know these things."  Little moments like this bring so much light in to my life. I love quick little convos with people I don't know and will never see again. These are the conversations where I feel I've taken the most from. A different perspective from a stranger.

Live in the meow, please. Surround yourself with the people you care about and life won't be that bad. Besides life would be very boring without any problems. Without pain how could we possibly appreciate joy?

I also think everyone needs to get out of their shell more often. Express yourself in front of people and just be free. Be weird, get in a little bit of trouble once in a while. Take a step outside of your comfort zone and you will be very surprised with yourself and what you can discover. I stepped out of my comfort zone and landed in California. I see this being the first of many different stops. I plan to have many conversations like I did with that woman at work. I hope that the person I talk to tells her friend and family about our conversation. All I want out of life is to open as many eyes as possible. I want to stir things up and get everyone out of the ordinary, once in a while. 

I am not being dismal when I say this but our number will be called one day. And that is some scary shit. But it's not that scary when I truly believe I am going to see my dad and be in a better place assuming I ease up on sinning. So think about that next time your hesitant. 

HK

Jake David<3

Indirect

Dear         ,

I'm sorry for not acting back then like I would now. I'm sorry for not being respectful. I'm sorry for the things you don't know I've done. I'm sorry for apologies that don't correct what is being apologized for. I'm sorry for not being on time. I'm sorry for wasting your money. I'm sorry for reacting like that. Im not sorry for the flaws that are not amendable. When I had the opportunity to spend 5 more minutes with you I'm sorry for avoiding that. I'm sorry for going in the opposite direction. I'm sorry for cheating. I really am sorry for not doing EVERYTHING that I could. I'm sorry for not apologizing. I'm sorry for those who don't do anything about it. Im sorry for not calling. I am sorry for ignoring you. I'm sorry I didn't say yes. I'm sorry I said no. I'm not       for writing this.

Sincerely,
           

Just waking in the morning, gotta thank God

..I don't know but today seems kinda odd.

So far in La-La Land I have met a woman who had money stolen from them from the Russians, a man that dealt with the death of a father from an AVALANCHE, a man that lost his mother from drugs, met a homeless woman living in a hotel with two kids and barely enough money to buy bread and much, much more. Each of these people are still kickin' and just laughing through life, it's remarkable. People give me credit for over coming the death of my father but the truth is there are so many people who have had it worse. Knowing that leaves me with no excuses but to keep on keepin' on because I SAID GODDAMN, (Uma Thurman, Pulp Fiction) life is as beautiful as it is terrifying. 

I am starting to feel that the answers I am looking for may be right in front of me. The answers may have always been right in front of me but sometimes it takes going away to realize that. The cliche quote, 'you never know what you have til it's gone', is more true than a fact. Most of the time it does take a traumatic experience to make that realization but that doesn't have to be the case. You can make that realization at any point of your day if you just sit down and really think about what you have rather than what you don't. Don't leave someone angry or upset with them por favor. Cabs drive like lunatics, you never know what could happen when you cross the street.

Maaaan I don't want to work my life away. I want to have a conversation with an old man who is the last one standing in his life and has no one else to talk to. I don't want to hand a check to a charity (when I have money), I want to actually get my hands dirty and be in Zimbabwe helping out a little fella. I want to travel to every inch of this planet and get my self into weird situations where I don't know what is going to happen next. I want a girl with a cute butt, exotic eyes and with as much philosophical depth as I. Also, a banana split and a Jet super bowl. 

"The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness."

 - Eric Hoffer

Therefore I am not searching, I am just gliding. 

HK

JAKE DAVID<3

PEACE.